HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
