I'm going to jail i love you
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
