Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
