The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
