I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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