god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
