I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
