I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
