no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
