Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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