I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Green mimosas i think yes
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
