well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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