I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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