My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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