Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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