I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
