she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
