yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
