sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
