How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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