Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
