You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
