On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
