Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
