I could have mohawked her pubes.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
