Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
