My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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