id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
