now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
