Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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