she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
