the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
