I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
