There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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