I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
