...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
