I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
