My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize