I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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