You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
