For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
