discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
