You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
