At least make sure they are 18
Why
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
