I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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