Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
