Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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