and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I deserve this hangover.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
