so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
