THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
