I think I died a long time ago.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
