I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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