Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
