I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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