Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
sarcasm needs its own font
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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