We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
