Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
