just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
