Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
