I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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