Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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