Pappa wants mamma naked
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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