I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
