Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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